My Life in Words
Please register for updates of my journals
My Life in Words
Please register for updates of my journals
Happy birthday to WFTT, happy birthday to WFTT... not a mouthful at all. LOL. It's January. It's resolution time and it's a whole year ago since I took my Coaching business On Line! What a year!
I have learnt so much and made amazing connections with so many wonderful people through Bizmums, Facebook, Periscope and Twitter. So, it's definitely a time for me to reflect, review and take stock of all that I have achieved, learnt and created throughout 2015. However, I am not doing this because it's New Year and I'm not making any Resolutions. As it's a year into my business, I am creating a clear vision for the coming year (which includes areas of my personal life too). I have clear 3 month goals, which are broken down to monthly, weekly then daily actions. So am I resolving? No. I don't need to.
I heard that only 8% of the people who create New Year's Resolutions achieve them and I know why. It's because it's another 'should' in our cultural beliefs. You 'should' look at the previous year, decide you don't like something about your life, and with little or no planning, you dive in and resolve to resolve it. The word resolution could also be read as re-solve i.e. re-solve the issue you didn't re-solve the previous year. Now, don't get me wrong as you know, I'm all about positive change, growth and development, but waiting until January to do it is wasting time and also has been proven to be short lived in terms of results.
In my opinion, it's because of two things.
1. People don't get clear enough on what it is they want to change.
2. People don't take consistent daily action
Here are my top tips for achieving the positive changes you want in your life.
1. Clarity - Whenever you start this review process, be really clear on what you would like to make positive changes to or develop. Resolution assumes a problem, perhaps you are delighted with how things are and simply want more of it. Get crystal clear. (Every time I get a bit foggy I go back to the processes in the Clearing to gain focus and understanding. Works everytime.) Being clear helps you to avoid overwhelm.
2. Set Intentions - Plan where you want to get to but accept that the road won't be smooth or necessarily comfortable. I was doing a review and planning session with a client and a big part of the block to enjoying the process of running her business was not having complete control of the road ahead. When we focused more on why she was running her business, and who it was benefiting, she felt so much more content with not having complete control of each step towards a given outcome, as long as the result was that the women she is working with loved her service and that she continues to attract more women who would benefit. She felt more able to take action and enjoy the day to day unpredictability that running a business can bring.
3. Commit- Take action. Everyday. Consistent action everyday is the only way you will make significant progress in any area of your life. Whether it be in marketing your business, eating healthily, exercising or communicating positively with your partner, daily committed action is all that will make a long term difference to the results you want. Do it.
4. Regular review- Looking daily, weekly, monthly at what you are doing and why is essential to long term progress and enjoyment. But most importantly, in my eyes, is doing two things well on a daily basis.
First, be honest with yourself but not BRUTAL.
Letting 'Mean Little Cow' take centre stage when you have had an off day is counter productive. Yes, admit to yourself it wasn't great not doing x, y or z but then look at why you didn't.
Are you losing clarity about why you wanted to do this in the first place?
Do you need to review where you are up to weekly if you've only been doing it monthly?
Are you feeling overwhelmed in other areas of your life and need some support?
Don't simply let 'Mean Little Cow' start telling you that you are a 'failure', 'lazy', 'pathetic'. You are human!! We all wobble, we all have off days, we all loose our way a bit but listening to that voice is going to take you down the path to 'Stuckville', which is a boring, sad and painful place, so don't listen to MLC too long.
Yes, perhaps you have been a bit lazy and not hit the gym when you said you would. Or you procrastinated and faffed about on Facebook when you could have been ringing local contacts to make a sale. Whatever the truth is, it's done.
Of course, I'm not letting you off the hook there. Get over it and get Solution Focused.
Ask, What can I do now to have maximum impact this afternoon or tomorrow? How can I make the most of this evening and achieve at least one part of what I wanted to do today? How can I relax properly so that I bring a great energy tomorrow? Take action.
Second, be kind to you. Celebrate the little successes daily. Pretend you are your best friend and shine a light on all your amazing achievements for the day. They can be small. I made my husband belly laugh. Or big. I landed a £1,000,000 contract.
Once you've done that look at what you are grateful for that day. For example, I loved the moonshine coming into my bedroom at night or I appreciate the support my team gave me on project X.
By flexing these two muscles of self satisfaction you'll keep 'Mean Little Cow' out to pasture where she needs to be.
5. Mind YOUR Language - My last tip is be careful how you talk to you about your intentions and commit to using a Solution Focused approach on days when the going gets tough.
One of my Solution Focused Sisterhood members, Emma, wrote these today and I think they are a perfect example of taking default thinking and spinning it on its useless head.
"I can't get the children to get on board with our routines. SF - I have amazing children who learn quickly and will follow my lead if I support them with the routines.
I don't have the willpower - SF - I am a super strong, independent woman who can do anything that she puts her mind to.
I'm not experienced enough. SF - I can get out there and gain the experience that I need. I have been given an opportunity and need to grab it with both hands.
I don't have the time. SF- I can find time, even if it is a small window I can use it to get started, a little is better than nothing at all."
What an inspiration!!
So, please, don't resolve to do things because you 'should' but if you want to improve your situation, thoughts, people you allow into your life then I hope these top tips help you to review, gain clarity and gain the results you want.
Do you want a chance to gain a Solution Focused Mind Set to support your journey? Then join me on my FREE 15 Day Think Different Challenge.
I only open this up at key points in the year, as part of my First year On Line anniversary as Wood for The Trees Coaching I am celebrating by offering this little gem of a challenge. So you have until 10pm gmt on Sunday 10th January to join all the ladies who are already limbering up in the closed Facebook group.The results are amazing.
Emma was one of my original ladies and look at her flexing her Solution Focused muscles.
Sign up here.