I’ve just had a fantastic weekend. It was one of the hardest weekends of my life, but one of the most enlightening.
I’ve woken up to the fact that for a large part of my life I have been living life on a rollercoaster.
What do I mean?
Well, I strongly believe that we live life in metaphors and some of them give us power, make us stronger, happier and more fulfilled. However, some of them make us feel weak, unable to be positive and are downright destructive.
It’s pretty simple when you think about it.
A metaphor is when we communicate a concept and liken it to something else.
So if I were to describe how I am feeling by saying ,“My head is exploding.” What does that tell you about how I feel? Would you think I felt happy, peaceful and content with the world or would it tell you I felt chaotic, overwhelmed and distressed.
Now we surround ourselves with metaphors all day from the journey to work or school run in the morning to the minute we sit down for tea at night. What we aren’t aware of is how much impact these metaphors have on us. If we go around thinking I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders or I’m at the end of my tether or I can’t see the wood for the trees, do you think it is likely we are going to have a day filled with happiness and be productive?
In relationships we can have metaphors for our loved ones that can be positive or negative.
If my kids don’t show they are grateful after a fun filled day out and simply ask for more, I think ‘the little brats.’ How do you think this makes me behave towards them? Do you think I stay patient and keep my temper knowing that they are over excited and it’s normal for kids to ask for more? Do I heck. I end up shouting saying they should be grateful and they don’t know they are born etc etc. Will that help them be appreciative? Unlikely. However, if I kept the feeling that they are my ‘little treasures’ in mind we might make it to bedtime without the shouting and when I have managed to do this, they have been known to kiss me and thank me for a lovely day. (Not every time of course! LOL)
Leading life coach Tony Robbins calls these our “global metaphors”.
I believe that by making a conscious decision what your metaphors are going to be you can change the way you live. So, for me living on a roller coaster means I have been known to sabotage myself by listening to my negative self at home and at work because to me Life was a Rollercoaster. I haven’t allowed myself the easy ride. I’ve just made myself work harder, or not accepted what I am doing is good enough and then felt overwhelmed.
I have listened to the negative voice in me (..and you are lying if you say you haven’t got one. We all do. Some are just louder than others.) telling me lies and believing them. It isn’t just positive thinking for positive thinking sake. The great thing is I have just spent the weekend finding out why I do this and I am so excited because it gives me a chance to write a whole new set of metaphors to live by with my new found knowledge. It’s about acting out the way we think and thus feeling it.To have only one metaphor to live by is as limiting as being unconscious of them. So, let’s think of loads.
I’m making a start here, from now on I am living the following life with the love of my life and our two little treasures:
Life is a Gift. Life is a Soundtrack. Life is love. Life is an adventure. Life is a mystery to be solved. When you look at life like this, the possibilities are endless. I’ll let you know how I get on. Let me know yours in the comments below.