I was guest speaking at a Women in business event recently and was asked to discuss the topic of Organisation. It’s a big issue for many women, the feeling that they aren’t organised, or that they can’t organise themselves, because of the volume of activities they are juggling and it makes them feel at their worst. As always there is a matter of perspective to take into account and the stories we tell ourselves.
This is playing out with my daughter at the moment and I am committed to using my words carefully with her when the issue arises. In school, she’s had many teachers tell her she is disorganised and she now says it herself. ‘I’m just not an organised person mum.’ ‘I forgot to put my homework in my bag and I got a behaviour point. I’m so disorganised.’ Recently, she received behaviour points and a detention for it, which reaffirms her negative self-talk. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have a detention, but I know that to help her become more organised, and believe that she can be more organised, it will take more than the pain of the detention to create good habits and increase self- esteem around something that does not come naturally to her.
When I talk to her I explain how I am not ‘naturally’ a methodical person, or an organised person but I see the benefits in being more organised and how it can help me feel better when I am, so I work daily on being as organised as I can be. It helps bring BEST me out to play. Sometimes I am very organised, other times I drop a ball, but I consciously aim to be more organised and so I am, more often than not. Rather than adopting the label ‘I am disorganised’ I tell myself ‘I am someone who is committed to being more organised.’ There is a big difference and I want her to see herself this way too. A girl who is committed to being more organised, in order to help BEST me come out to play.
This was clear when I spoke to many of the women at the presentation, I heard them say to ladies around them, ‘I’m not organised.’ giving themselves a label and, ‘I’ve so much on it’s impossible to be organised.’ demonstrating their limiting belief. A big part of feeling overwhelmed is the feeling that everything is out of control, so when working with clients there are 3 key areas we look at to see where these feelings stem from and making often tiny changes that will impact on this feeling of disorganisation in a big way. Read on .......
You went into business wanting to be flexible and have personal freedom that allows you to pivot and be creative in ways that you just weren’t able to do when you were working for someone else.
Am I right?
As an entrepreneur you are highly motivated, you love starting new projects and you love creating new things. These are great qualities; however, if you have a ‘Secret Squirrel’ in your business this can cause you problems.
I love nothing more than watching the red squirrels that visit my big oak tree. They run here, there, everywhere. They find acorns, they bury them. They get distracted by the two magpies that come to stand guard and then they forget where they put that nut! They jump from branch to branch and run up and down the tree using up huge amounts of energy. Is that happening to you? Read on
As I was hugging Steph and Jen for the first time, I was so excited because this is what Bizmums is about. Making connections and doing business in a way that feels good and fun. The Annual Conference and Awards, sponsored by 90 Days of Social, is the highlight of the Bizmums calendar as it’s a chance to finally meet people who you know as a thumbnail head from Facebook and can finally chat and hug in the flesh.
You’ll know I was nominated for 5 Awards and I was gobsmacked when I was shortlisted for all 5 so October 8th at the Manor House, Alsager was an exciting day for me on so many levels.
The day began with the fabulous Michelle Childs and Stacey Knight Jones leading us in a rousing, full room sing-a-long to Robbie’s “I Love my life.” (We were definitely better at the chorus than the verses!! LOL) Read on .......
Well this month has been interesting! I've had a few personal hiccups that have thrown me a bit off course and I've had to readjust 'THE PLAN' several times. Does this ever happen to you?
Well I know it does because that's life. S@%$ happens. It promoted me to look at this as a theme this week on my Facebook page (pop and give it a like if you want daily interaction with me). When you go off plan, or you have to readjust your priorities it can feel like you are failing. Like you aren't being true to you so then Mean Little Cow can start her cry of, "Oh you are rubbish. You aren't doing what you said you'd do blah, blah, blah." As usual with Mean Little Cow voice, (That negative inner critic) it's important to listen to her, but not for long, and find the grain of truth in what she is saying. Being hard on yourself and talking cow pats isn't helpful. It isn't doing yourself justice and it will keep you stuck in a defensive stream of excuses.
The best thing to do when you find you start being hard on yourself is to take the following action, as proposed in my Monday Minute Coach this week. Ask:
1. What are you saying to yourself?
2. Be honest. Is there any truth in it?
3. What action do you need to take?
4. Take the action now.
5. Give yourself credit where credit is due, daily.
Making excuses is simply sitting in the fear or the indecision that is stopping you. Having recently started a Blab Show called Get Motivated Today UK with the wonderful Jai Garcia, we were lucky enough to get the fantastic Dickie Armour , Internet Evangelist and Business Strategist from Bristol UK, to talk about the issue of excuses and how he stays motivated. Some great stuff in there if you have half an hour and a cuppa. (Forgive my technical issues throughout, but despite it I have continued finding solutions to make it happen and not make excuses not to!)
The reason I am sharing this with you is that these are great examples of people who aim daily not to let excuses rule their lives. They take each day and make the best of what it has to offer. Are they perfect?
No, but who is?
But they are giving life their best shot with the opportunities that they are presented with and, most importantly, the ones they create.
So, I ask you this. Which excuse are you hiding behind?
What is it that you fear?
Is the fear real or is there a way of breaking down that fear, feeling a little bit uncomfortable as you break through it, but will you come out the other side feeling fantastic knowing that you tried?
If you want support moving towards your goals, don't hesitate to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
When was the last time you FOCUSED on YOU?
What F word were you thinking of? LOL
No, I mean really focused on you. Not just given yourself time to read a magazine or a take a long bath!! But when have you actually sat and given yourself the head space to think, 'What am I doing and why?'
As women, often we don't find the time to look in on ourselves and see how we are doing. We ask our friends & family how they are, we check in on our partners and kids, if you have them, a lot. What we don't do is focus on ourselves for very long.
Last year, when I ran a Clearing Workshop , and was delivering taster sessions before it, I started the session with the question, 'What are you doing and why?'
Some wonderful, intelligent and highly motivated ladies attended and when I asked this question many of them fell silent. Some of them looked at the wall, their shoes, anything other than catch my eye. The fear was palpable. One lady actually almost screeched and looked ready to run out of the door. (She's since become one of my most successful clients!) I'm not scary I promise, but the question struck fear in many of them. Just as it has struck fear in me before now.
Why was that question so scary for some of them?
Was it because if they actually took the time to focus on the answer they might see that things aren't as they wanted it to be? If they focused on themselves for more than a few minutes they might see that they were so far down the priority list or worse, that they didn't even make the list at all? If they focused on the answer perhaps they might have to make changes that were simple, but not easy? Changes that might bring short term pain for the long term gain. Some of the ladies loved answering the question and were really clear on what they had and wanted in their lives. Some ladies couldn't, or wouldn't, answer because of the fear it brought up.
What was wonderful is that the ladies who opened themselves up to the process by attending the Workshop, as well as many who have gone on to do so on line, were able to work through this question and the results were fantastic.
They could see all the great things they had in their lives and appreciated them even more.
They could see where they had lost themselves in work, or the washing pile or being a daughter, a wife, a mum.
They could see what steps they needed to take to put themselves on the agenda again, without feeling guilty.
They could see what focus they needed to make themselves work through the resistance to doing that!
They could see how they had made themselves very busy and how to create days that are full of things they love to do.
They could see the challenges they would meet and how they might overcome them.
They could see what they wanted to be doing and why it was important to them.
I use this question myself regularly to assess what I am doing in work, at home and in my relationships. It's a powerful question that can trigger some wonderful action to keep you true to yourself and your needs, ultimately giving you a life you love to live.
So, I ask you to take some time to FOCUS ON YOU. Ask yourself today, 'What am I doing and why?'
I'd love to hear your answers. Please reply in the comments.
If you'd like to take the work deeper and come away feeling like the ladies did above, I invite you to join me in the woods, literally, for my life affirming Clearing Workshop on March 19th 2016 for a full day for YOU about YOU and Let's get crystal clear on the answer to this question. Click here for details. early bird ends 29th February 2016.
Is it your time for a bit of FOCUS now?