I was guest speaking at a Women in business event recently and was asked to discuss the topic of Organisation. It’s a big issue for many women, the feeling that they aren’t organised, or that they can’t organise themselves, because of the volume of activities they are juggling and it makes them feel at their worst. As always there is a matter of perspective to take into account and the stories we tell ourselves.
This is playing out with my daughter at the moment and I am committed to using my words carefully with her when the issue arises. In school, she’s had many teachers tell her she is disorganised and she now says it herself. ‘I’m just not an organised person mum.’ ‘I forgot to put my homework in my bag and I got a behaviour point. I’m so disorganised.’ Recently, she received behaviour points and a detention for it, which reaffirms her negative self-talk. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t have a detention, but I know that to help her become more organised, and believe that she can be more organised, it will take more than the pain of the detention to create good habits and increase self- esteem around something that does not come naturally to her.
When I talk to her I explain how I am not ‘naturally’ a methodical person, or an organised person but I see the benefits in being more organised and how it can help me feel better when I am, so I work daily on being as organised as I can be. It helps bring BEST me out to play. Sometimes I am very organised, other times I drop a ball, but I consciously aim to be more organised and so I am, more often than not. Rather than adopting the label ‘I am disorganised’ I tell myself ‘I am someone who is committed to being more organised.’ There is a big difference and I want her to see herself this way too. A girl who is committed to being more organised, in order to help BEST me come out to play.
This was clear when I spoke to many of the women at the presentation, I heard them say to ladies around them, ‘I’m not organised.’ giving themselves a label and, ‘I’ve so much on it’s impossible to be organised.’ demonstrating their limiting belief. A big part of feeling overwhelmed is the feeling that everything is out of control, so when working with clients there are 3 key areas we look at to see where these feelings stem from and making often tiny changes that will impact on this feeling of disorganisation in a big way. Read on .......