Are you an Imposter?

Are you an imposter?

8th October, 2019 -  6 minute read

May 28, 2019 - 4 minute read

You know what I mean. You tell yourself that people will find out that you aren’t as good as they think you are or you aren’t an ‘expert’, so who the hell are you to talk about X, Y or Z. 


Well, it’s a very common phenomenon with high achieving people, and often women, and is what psychologists call ‘Intellectual self doubt.’ 

The reason I decided to write this article is because this week I mentioned on my Facebook page that I was launching a my VIP coaching programme for ‘purpose driven women’ to support them to manage their energy to perform consistently throughout the day so that they can feel good about themselves again and avoid overwhelm; Create days that are focused, productive and filled with activity that is important to  without the guilt so that they can have the financial and emotional success they desire, and time to enjoy it! 

I want to support them to create a lifestyle where they thrive emotionally, physically and mentally, which includes their work, but they aren’t a slave to it. I want them to  manage the ‘imposter syndrome’, that inner critic voice and feel confident in their decision making and action taking as a female leader.


And oh the irony!! I had high achieving women messaging me saying they would love to be part of the programme and yet, they weren’t sure if they were high achieving enough, although they loved their purpose driven business!

WT… and it hit me. The women who need this the most, are the very women who won’t recognise themselves as high achievers because they haven’t got their hyper achiever saboteur under control!



It’s common for women leaders to not recognise how amazing they are (it happens for men too and they are less likely to admit it), which is why I want to run this programme in the first place. 



Why do we do this to ourselves? 

Valerie Young, author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, stated, “Being female means you and your work automatically stand a greater chance of being ignored, discounted, trivialized, devalued or otherwise taken less seriously than a man’s.” So, it might not all be in your mind why you feel like a fraud. 
However, more often than not we create these feelings ourselves and I have faced my ‘Imposter Syndrome’ several times in the last 20+ years of working.

1. Are you internalizing your successes?
You take credit for your mistakes and failures, blaming yourself at every opportunity, but are you taking credit for your achievements too? So, many women I see as clients say things like, ‘Well I was lucky I got the promotion.’ or ‘I had an opportunity others didn’t to do this so I’m not really that special.’ One, you make your own luck and bosses don’t just give out promotions to people in the vague hope they will be able to do what is needed. Two, many people don’t step up to opportunities presented to them and take risks or step into a position which stretches their comfort zone, so guess what you are special. Recognise it!

2. Do you think in absolutes? 
“I’m never good at that. I’m no good at this. I will never know how to do that.”
This fixed mindset will have you believe you are no good and less than. A fraud and incapable. Try re framing your thoughts and gain a Solution Focused, growth mindset. 
“How will I improve this over time? How will I gain the skills to do that? What learning do I need to be able to do that moving forward?”
Get rid of Imposter Syndrome that is making you believe you have to know it all, be it all and never make mistakes. That is nonsense, isn’t it? It’s how we grow.

3. Do you often think about how you are coming across to others?
Take the onus off you. My Imposter Syndrome was rife when I published my book, ‘Bounce back from Burnout’. What will he/she think? Who am I to write a book about this? What might a future employer think of me having a burnout? WHAT??? 
The book was written to support any woman sat with her head in her hands feeling overwhelmed and not good enough. It’s not about me! By taking the emphasis off my fears of judgement and focusing on the needs of the women I want to serve, I shut that Imposter voice down and you can too. So if you are holding out on launching that course or going for that promotion focus on all the people that will benefit from what you DO have to offer and do it.

4. Have you defined success?
One of the reasons I love doing SUCCESS SESSIONS is because once women are clear on what success means to them they aren’t living to anyone else's standards but their own, and this puts Imposter Syndrome on the skids!! 
Decide what success means to you and live it. How can you be a fraud if you do? You can’t, as it’s your definition of success, you are comfortable and confident in that and no one else’s definition matters.
5. Are you comparing yourself to someone else’s show reel?
Clients I have worked with have been very good at comparing themselves against other people’s show reel. You know what I mean, the public face of friends, peers in their industry etc. Stay in your own lane. You have no idea what is going on ‘behind the scenes’. Comparing yourself is a waste of energy and may leave you feeling a fraud when the reality of someone else’s situation may not be what it seems.

6. Are you running your business like a business or treating your workplace like work?
Mistakes and miscommunication will happen in working environments (and life). It’s all good. When you have Imposter Syndrome it will tell you different, that it’s not allowed and if you aren’t perfect you are doing it wrong. B@~*(&. Say you are launching a new product and you don’t have selling success first time, fix it. If it can’t be tweaked, reviewed, re-iterated then maybe it’s not for the marketplace. Don’t take it personally and see yourself as a failure or a fraud. Listen to the market and move forward with the learning. It’s all good.
7. How often do you focus on what you do well?
Not often I’ll bet. Many clients come to me and rarely look at their wins, but of course go over and over their mistakes. Looking daily at what you did well, in work and life, helps you internalise your success. 
Reviews and Appraisals make a great opportunity for this in the workplace. If you are self employed make space for it as part of your Business Development time.
Make it a habit and part of your routine to collect the evidence daily. Believe me that Mean Little Cow voice looks for evidence to the contrary so you need to collect your come backs on a daily basis.

8. Do you share your feelings of being a fraud?
One of the reasons I set up my FREE community The NEXT LEVEL WOMAN’s club was because I wanted to give high achieving women a space to connect and share their sabotaging behaviours and to collectively support each other. By connecting with other women who get it and feel the same we can see it is completely normal and that we can still achieve amazing things despite feeling like this when we are fully supported.
My VIP BETA Programme aims to teach women how to manage their inner saboteur effectively in order to have incredible energy and improve performance. 

9. Do you have too much on your plate?
Most of the women I coach have too much on their plate mentally and physically. This mental load can weigh you down and make you feel like you aren’t able to cope and are a fraud. Rubbish!! You are incredible the amount of activity you are managing a day. I was just talking to two high achieving mums who were up at 6am doing an hours work before their kids were up for the day. I have clients who are juggling a full on high achieving leadership role, parenthood, caring responsibilities and a life! 

You are more than enough, but most of the time you have too much on and you are managing time not your energy.

 From October 14th I’ll be delivering the Energy Management Movement (part one to one, part group Masterclasses) a programme for purpose driven women in business to regain their confidence, energy, productivity in order to perform at their best and increase their profitability.  
If this describes you, I’d love you to join me and if you tell me you don’t recognise that you are a high achieving, purpose driven woman, when all the evidence points to the fact you are…. well we need to have words!! CLICK HERE for more details. 


Questions?  Comments?

I would love your feedback and comments about this article if it has made you stop and simply think about your current situation and how you are managing your energy.  
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