Do you feel guitly?

Do you feel guilty as a purpose driven woman in business?

15th November, 2019 -  3 minute read

May 28, 2019 - 4 minute read

What do you feel guilty about?

What standard of behaviour have you failed to live up to in your mind? Who set that standard?


Now, before I start I want to make it clear that I do think it's important we have rules of behaviour and laws in society, otherwise there would be chaos. However, I also see daily evidence of purpose driven women in business feeling guilty about all the things it appears they 'should' be doing.If you work, you feel guilty you aren't at home with the kids.


If you don't work, you feel guilty you aren't using the education, you put in years to gain, into practice in the field you trained for.


If you have time for yourself, you feel guilty that you aren't 100% available for your family or your work.


If you don't take time for yourself, you feel guilty that you aren't looking after you.


You feel guilty because you make more money than anyone in your family.


You feel guilty if you have to ask your family for financial support, when you don't earn as much as them.


Guilt can be such wasted energy. It can simply drag you down and make you feel rotten about yourself. It can keep you stuck and it can hold you back. So what to do?




Does guilt guide you or hide you? 
I love watching Marie Forleo for inspirational snippets and there are definitely aspects to what she says here in this video clip about guilt that I agree with

Whilst I agree with most of what Marie says here, I disagree with the fact that "guilt isn't useful." All 'negative' emotions; guilt, anger, sadness, frustration have a place in the human emotional spectrum. (Have you seen Inside OUT? Watch with the kids if you've not seen it, you will love it.) It's what we do with it that counts.

So, I say, 'Is guilt guiding you or hiding you?'

What do I mean?

Well, if guilt is guiding you, you are listen to it and act on the what it is telling you positively. You take action in a way that is in alignment with your values, 'moral code' and beliefs. Do this and guilt is useful and will take you to your next level energy.

For example, you feel guilty because you said no to a project a business colleague asked you to get involved in, that was not going to help you achieve your vision, goals or your current project activity.
You have nothing to feel guilty about. 

If you get involved with something that isn’t part of your strategic plan, or not aligned with your skills and zone of genius, all that will happen is you will find yourself wasting time and energy, and potentially you’d feel resentful for your getting involved in the first place. 

At this point, depending on the strength of your 'people pleasing saboteur', guilt will try to make you feel bad if you don't do what the other person wants you to do. This is where you may end up using guilt to hide, not guide, you. 

What do I mean? 

If you took the project on simply because you can't bear the idea that that business friend will think you are 'not good enough' to take more, NOT because you would benefit from and see the bigger purpose in adding value to the project guilt is guiding you. You are hiding your true feelings, values behind the guilt that is judging you. In fact over time you will begin to resent the said colleague/friend and only be involved out of a sense of obligation. 

Is that professional? Is that ok with you?

Using Marie's example above, if you are feeling guilty about creating a business that makes you happy and is financially rewarding and this feeling stops you from doing it, you are not using the guilt feelings to guide you positively. Fear of disapproval and wanting to please others is running the show. 

As Marie says, "You being miserable too won't help them." However, creating a great business where you can create rewarding jobs for others or donate time and/or money to others is an action that will bring a positive out of that guilty feeling. Don't hide your true self behind the guilt.

If you are feeling guilty right now, what is it about? Why?

Is it guiding you? Listen. Evaluate. Act. 

Is it hiding you? Listen. Evaluate. Act.

If you need support in managing that people pleaser saboteur in order to focus your energy in the right place for you to thrive, then book a clarity call now and of course #sodtheshoulds. 

"Cooking on gas this morning after our Clarity Call yesterday. Can't wait for my actual coaching calls to start if one chat has done this to me." Janet H, UK.
Questions?  Comments?

I would love your feedback and comments about this article if it has made you stop and simply think about your current situation and how you are managing your energy.  
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