How saying NO is a Superpower.

 How often do you find yourself saying yes, when you really want to say no?

Often? Always? Sometimes?

Well, if it’s often and always you need to read on. 

What happens to your energy emotionally and mentally when you do this? What happens to the way you feel about the person who has asked you? 

Do you feel uplifted, enthusiastic and raring to do what you’ve said? Or do you feel heavy, tired and resentful?

What’s the likelihood you are going to be at your best or enjoy what you are doing if it is the latter?

The other thing I’d ask is where do you find this happening most often? In your working world or in your home life?

Now the fact is, some of you are managing a high functioning People Pleaser saboteur and a High Achieving saboteur, which will have you convinced that you simply can’t say no when someone asks you to do something and it will give you a myriad of reasons why

“Your client will go to someone else if you won’t do that extra work, even though they haven’t mentioned payment and they want it done by the morning with no prior notice.”

“Your boss will think you are crap at your job if you say no to that extra project or that promotion.”

“Your friend will think you are mean if you don’t drop everything and go for a coffee because she’s had a row with her mum, even if it means all of your plans being disrupted will cause you chaos and stress.”

“Your colleague will think you aren’t good enough at your job if you don’t pick up the slack on the project you are working on, because they have to deal with another emergency at home, despite the fact you are already swamped and working 15 hour days.”

The truth is being able to say no, or to ask that you do something within a time frame that suits you, is actually a Super Power and here is why.

6 reasons it’s good to say no!

Here at Wood for the Trees Coaching the first pillar of Success is self care, and included in that is self respect and self awareness. By looking out for you, everyone benefits as follows:

1. When you are looking after your needs you are able to perform at your highest level. 

This means everyone benefits. If you work for someone your boss is delighted and if you work for you your clients are thrilled. At home things are calm and organised. You delegate and outsource with ease.

  2. When you are looking after you, it means you have a fighting chance of being well and healthy.

If you are healthy you can be energetic and fun loving with your family, you aren’t off work or absent from your business. You have more energy for fun activities with friends and family. Everyone wins.

3. When you prioritise you, you feel loving and giving.

This means when you give, you give with love. Not out of a sense of duty or responsibility, but with love and that great energyis felt by those that are on the receiving end, be it your children, husband, boss or clients.

4. W hen you give yourself time and space to think and just be, you have clarity of thought and purpose.

When you know what you are doing and why it benefits everyone because you are grounded, more available as your time is prioritised and you feel more together and in control. This helps at home, at work and in creating a life that is purposeful.

5. When you put you higher up on your agenda, you are self-aware and conscious when taking action.

Your ability to be responsive, and not simply reactive, is of benefit to anyone you work with or live with. This can give you high level problem solving ability and allow you to see when problems might arise rather than finding yourself in the middle of a fire, having to fight it.

6. When you do say yes, it is with discernment and you can pursue impactful projects and help people in a way that meets everyone’s needs.

Saying yes can be a powerful thing if you are being more conscious in the when you agree to things. Saying yes left, right and centre is simply a recipe for burnout. (I know, I did it for years!) By saying yes in a mindful way you will make a much greater impact in the long term.

Mean Little Cow quieten down!

So when that Mean Little Cow voice starts spouting that nonsense that you are selfish, or not good enough, if you don’t say yes to everything, simply have a word with it and show it all the evidence above that it isn’t true and you have control of the situation, because it’s your newfound super power. 

If you really struggle with this I’d love to invite you to do my 'BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND' self study COURSE. Let's help you manage your professional and personal boundaries better in order that EVERYONE benefits, including you.  BOOK HERE.