I don’t know about you, but the words self-care and self-love are repeated in the online space so often, they are becoming more buzzwords that make them a bit annoying to the ear!
However, they are important.
It is so important that I put “Self-care” as the first pillar to
success
in my 3 pillar model (with Mind set and Strategy coming next).
That cliché, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup.’ is so true.
In the working world, particularly when you are passionate about what you do, you can end up burning the candle at both ends too often. Throw in carer, parental responsibilities or health issues and you can be completely lost and so low on the agenda you never get to you.
During my ‘BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND’ workshop I did an exercise, which demonstrated this beautifully and 9 times out of 10 participants don’t even feature. Isn’t it sad that we get so lost in all the things we feel we
‘should’ be doing that we fail to see our own care as a priority?
For me Self care isn’t simply hiding away for 20 minutes in a bubble bath, it is so much more. It’s a stake in the ground. One that says, ‘I am as important as anyone else around me. I can commit fully to my Vision and bring it to life. I can voice my opinions, feelings and objections. I can stand up for myself in a way that is both compassionate and assertive. I matter too.’
The reason I say this is because those of you who have a dominant
People Pleaser saboteur
will feel constant guilt, and fear it being safe, to express yourself mentally and physically like this.
Well, I’m here to show you how it can benefit not YOU, but everyone around you. (Which helps get past that ‘People Pleaser’ Mean Little Cow voice that is telling you it is selfish to put you first.) It isn’t selfish and here is why.
1. When you are looking after your needs you are able to perform at your highest level.
This means everyone benefits. If you work for someone your boss is delighted and if you work for you your clients are thrilled. At home things are calm and organised. You delegate and outsource with ease.
2. When you are looking after you, it means you have a fighting chance of being well and healthy.
If you are healthy you can be energetic and fun loving with your family, you aren’t off work or absent from your business. You have more energy for fun activities with friends and family. Everyone wins.
3. When you prioritise you, you feel loving and giving.
This means when you give, you give with love. Not out of a sense of duty or responsibility but with love and that great energy is felt by those that are on the receiving end, be it your children, husband, boss or clients.
4. When you give yourself time and space to think and just be, you have clarity of thought and purpose.
When you know what you are doing and why it benefits everyone because you are grounded, more available as your time is prioritised and you feel more together and in control. This helps at home, at work and in creating a life that is purposeful.
5. When you put you higher up on your agenda, you are self-aware and conscious when taking action.
Your ability to be responsive, and not simply reactive, is of benefit to anyone you work with or live with. This can give you high level problem solving ability and allow you to see when problems might arise rather than finding yourself in the middle of a fire, having to fight it
Sod the Shoulds!
Well, the next time that People Pleaser Saboteur is telling you that you ‘haven’t got time’ and that it is ‘selfish for you to take that bath’; ‘go to the gym’; ‘have an hour to do your favourite hobby’; ‘take a weekend away with friends or your partner’; ‘get up early to journal’; ‘speak up for yourself’; ‘say no without guilt’ or ‘write your book’, to name a few, give it
ALL the reasons above that it is a GREAT IDEA and is essential to EVERYONE that you make time for you and what you need to fulfil your Vision of life and work.
Let’s have you performing at YOUR highest level. That’s all.
If you struggle to put your needs first then my BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND online course is for YOU. CLICK HERE to buy and start your journey of self care the wood for the trees way.
"Wow this was powerful. I hadn't realised I held so many disempowering beliefs about putting my needs first and how it had been impacting my behaviour. Doing the 'Be Your Own Best Friend' workshop has transformed how I see me and in course has improved how I act in work, at home and with friends. Less resentment and less guilt, feels like a weight has been taken off my chest and made me like myself more. Don't hestitate to get started and BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND." DG, UK.
