When there are major global events occurring like the pandemic, or the current situation in Ukraine, there is a wave of collective fear and anxiety. The world feels heavy and chaotic. If you are highly empathetic, as I am, and see videos of children screaming or missiles flying overhead it can feel overwhelming. (Not as overwhelming as being there of course, but it is still a relevant experience.)
This happened to me on Thursday/Friday last week. I felt I needed to take a breath as I was caught up in news broadcasts and social media posts. Reading online friend’s posts fearful for their families was heart breaking. I had just started promoting my
BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND
coaching programme, but it felt off to continue promoting when
my energy was on such a downward spiral. I needed time to regroup, to release the heaviness and recenter myself, so I paused it. I appreciate I have the privilege of being able to do that and I chose to do so. I checked in with my clients and community and worked on a smaller empowering project for young people.
Everyone is different and situations are different. There is no right or wrong in this. I know that when I give myself this space it benefits everyone. When the pandemic hit, I had a ‘wobble’ then mobilised to deliver a ‘Resilience Reset’ for 100s of women. I filled my own cup, then felt more able to contribute. Others felt able to get stuck in straight away and didn’t need that breath. Maybe you felt differently to me and simply wanted to crack on. It’s all good.
Here I want to share how I am working through this situation in order to support anyone who is struggling to move through it, always with the caveat to
‘sod the shoulds’. Look at what I write with a discerning eye and decide what is best for you.
Steps to rise again.
1. Use tools and techniques that allow you to cope with the current situation and process your feelings around what is going on.
There is no right or wrong in how you are feeling, it is what it is. If you’ve felt any level of ‘flight, fight or freeze’ it’s a very human reaction. Start with self awareness around what you need to reset right now and which coping strategies you are leaning towards. Will they help or hinder you in the long run?
Personally, I spent time with some of the family members I love most in the world and that connection supported me to feel fortunate and loved. I journaled and did some mindful activities that helped me work through my fears. I went for a good walk in nature and the blue sky and cold wind felt nurturing. I took my sister out for her birthday treat to the theatre, which was pure joy. Whatever works for you, take time for it as soon as possible.
2. If you feel this need to retreat and take a minute to regroup then do it. If that means you stop promoting or selling momentarily, and you can afford to do that, do it. Remove yourself from the source of the energy channels that are draining you for as long as is necessary.
I live with someone who needs to stay fully informed with news streams and up to date information to feel calm in the face of adversity. I prefer to stay informed, but only connect with it once a day or I take on too much of the energy of the personal stories. We are all different. You do what you need to do.
3. Save your energy for what you can control, not what you can’t. Look around the world and there are so many situations you have little to no control of. This isn’t new, this situation feels like it has arisen quickly and we are having an immediate reaction, that’s human.
Personally, once I’d released some of the heavy energy I was feeling I wanted to help. I donated to some charities helping children and local groups that are supporting on the ground. Looking for how people are helping in these situations and the bravery of people brings a whole different energy to the events as they unfold.
4. If you stop earning money and contributing to your family and the economy it doesn’t help the world in the long run, so if you want to continue promoting and selling your business do it confidently. Your purpose driven business is helping the world. Be sensitive to how others might be feeling right now, but keeping your mission and Vision alive will inspire others who might be struggling in the present. I know myself when things have been tough in the past seeing others flourishing made me hopeful for my future.
5. It’s difficult to see how now, but there may be some good to come out of this situation in the future. I know when my Nana talked about WW2, she focused on the community, compassion and humanity when she shared her experiences. It was the darkest time that brought people together. There was an appreciation of living that could only come from someone who’s existence had been threatened. It doesn’t negate the horrors, but it’s a glimmer of hope for the future. I know every difficult, painful experience has given me an opportunity or gift in hindsight. It’s something to consider when it feels bleak.
6. Focus on those energy and mood enhancing activities you know lift you up. I’ve learnt over the years that being empathetic can mean you slide into the energetic state of the person/people you are supporting and that helps no one. Clear boundaries and compassion for yourself (know your limits) are essential. What revs your motor or calms you down? Do you know? Get curious and play. Music? Dancing? Walking in nature? Singing? Meditation? Reading? Choose something to create the emotional energy you want to feel.
7. When the
world goes dark, be the light. (If you are not ready yet, that might feel like a burden, so it goes without saying fill your cup up first.) However, even in the smallest of ways you can be a force for good in the world. Rise above politics and look at your
Vision. Tap into
why it is important and how it benefits you and the world around you. That’s enough reason to continue to live for its realisation in big and little ways.
Contribution and compassion are core values to uphold in the face of greed and power over dynamics. Do what you can.
Be the difference in your world. Don’t worry about those who accuse you of ‘virtue signalling’. Those who know the integrity of your heart is all that matters, ie. YOU. Show up confidently knowing you make a difference to the world by being the loving, considerate and visionary person you are.
I’m going to continue supporting myself, my family and friends and my visionary clients in the best way I can. I’ll continue to promote and sell as I chose to. I’ll continue to seek ways to support those in tougher situations than me in the ways that I can and I will continue to manage my energy in order to show up and live my Vision. I hope you can work out how to do that too. My words of the year are
Hope, Trust and Alignment. Definitely poignant right now.
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