Self care 6 ways for your purpose driven business

When I talk about self care, what does it make you think of? 

Taking a long soak in the bath? 

Sitting quietly for 10 minutes with a cuppa?

Having a massage or doing a face mask? 

All of these are individually great ways to treat yourself, but they are not the whole self care picture. 

What is self care? 

At Wood for the Trees Coaching, I believe self care covers a myriad of aspects whereby you act as your own best friend. 

1. Self awareness - this is critical and can determine whether or not you understand what you need in the short and long term. Often your best friend sees you are out of sorts before you do. Be your own best friend.
   
   
2. Self acceptance - loving yourself in the messy, as a ‘work in progress’. Seeing what is and making the absolute best of it. Working with who you are to the best possible outcome. Your best friends love you, warts and all. Be your own best friend.
   
   
3. Self control - being able to stop yourself in the short term from taking action that is obviously detrimental in the long term. Your best friend would challenge you if they could see you were harming yourself. Be your own best friend.
   
   
4. Self discipline - motivating yourself towards your bigger Vision and being consistent in doing it, despite what your immediate state might determine. Your best friend would give you a kick in the pants if they thought you were short changing yourself. Be your own best friend.
   
   
5. Self worth - standing up for your needs and desires, despite others discomfort when you create clear boundaries. Your best friend would stand up for what you need and fight for it. Be your own best friend. 
   
   
6. Self expression - having a voice and feeling safe to share it. Your best friend would tell you to honour your opinions. Be your own best friend. 

There have been two main points in my life when I’ve needed to demonstrate care to myself. In the first instance, it was early in my professional career. I wasn’t equipped to demonstrate self care because I didn’t have a real understanding of what it meant, and I didn’t believe I was important enough to do it. I burned out. 

In the second instance, I was older, wiser and had a lot more clarity, but in real terms the situation I was faced with (parental illness/small children/business capacity) posed some very clear challenges in looking out for and after me. However, I did significantly better in the second instance, because I had more understanding of the breadth of scope self care can cover AND I had many of the tools I needed to overcome some of the challenges. I want this for you.

I want you to consider how they might be manifesting in everyday life in your business, family life, friendships?

1. Often our needs display themselves in tension in the body, gut feelings and, if left unattended, physical ailments. That resentment you are feeling towards that client may mean your boundaries have been breached or your costs aren’t high enough. Sick of your family taking everything you do for granted, same again. Be aware and deal with it early. 
   
   
2. Are you beating yourself up every time you make a mistake or don’t meet a target? If this is the case, then give yourself some grace. Use the RISE Method to acknowledge the learnings and opportunities that your current situation affords you.
   
   
3. Often when you are indulging in ‘pleasure based’ short term activity that is detrimental to your long term aspirations, health or wellbeing it can be a sign that you are feeling out of alignment and disconnected from your Vision. Make space to create or reconnect with what is important to you now and long term. Consider what actions are helping you experience that, and which are holding you back. Create self loving SMARTHabits that make you feel great about yourself.
   
   
4. Procrastination and holding back on taking action in your life and business can be a sign that you aren’t connected to your goals enough. Again, create or reconnect with your Vision and goals. Work on those limiting beliefs and sabotaging thoughts using the RISE Method to transform those thoughts that are creating that behaviour. 
   
   
5. Saying yes when you want to say no. Using being helpful to everyone else as a way to make you feel good about you? Get clear on your boundaries and what is ok and what’s not ok with your needs at the heart of that, calm that people pleaser saboteur down. 
   
   
6. Scared to share your ideas or be visible in your purpose driven business, it can be a clear signal that again the people pleaser saboteur is scared to upset or oppose anyone else. Work on your messaging and mission to feel safe to share your truth.

I’m actually going to add a 7th aspect of self care before I round this up - SELF FORGIVENESS. I do this because you will sometimes fall short, get it wrong and mess up. You won’t be self disciplined or demonstrate self control. You might shy away from showing up fully in your business and life. You are human and it’s ok to make and learn from your mistakes, dust yourself off and get back in the game. Forgive yourself and move forward. 

Self care can be a walk in the woods, but it can be so much more. If you are struggling to BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND then my 6 week self study course will give you the self awareness and plan of action you need. CLICK HERE to sign up today

Testimonial quote:

“I struggled to put myself first at work, at home and in my friendships. I was feeling resentful of everything and everyone. I found it hard to say no or express my point of view for fear of rejection or ridicule. One question from Michala changed everything. “Why are your needs less important than everyone else’s?” I had no answer. I knew things had to change and they did. Thank you Michala for helping me BE MY OWN BEST FRIEND.” SG, UK