In the early days of my business I shared this blog and I thought it might be relevant to share this story again if you are feeling heavy under the weight of all your SHOULDS.
(It's 2015) - I've just come off a phone call with my lovely mum, who I love dearly. She'll kill me for writing this, but that's why I am going to share our conversation with you, because I shouldn't!
Now rebellion and rule breaking don't come easily to me. I have battled with the people pleaser saboteur
all my life and our conversation will show you why.
Mum: Ooh, did you have to swear on your Facebook page?
Me: Mum, I only said sod. It's hardly bad.
Mum: But should you do that on your business page?
Me: Well, I am 42 and I think the ladies who read my page won't mind the word sod. I could swear my head off, but I don't, because as you know that's not me.
Mum: I know, but it's a business page.
Me: Mum, there are coaches out there like Kat Loterzo and Leonie Dawson who swear like mad and are really successful because women love that they are real and don't hide their true communication style. I love that they are real. I'm not a big swearer, so I don't swear like that, but I do swear when I feel angry or passionate about something, so that's me being real to me. I never swear at or around you out of respect, but I don't think sod is that strong.
Now, bear in mind my mum can swear like a docker, if she's had two shandies, but she doesn't often swear in front of me, in general conversation and we do have a mutual respect.
It's how I've been taught how we 'should' behave and I do like it that way. That mutual respect as mother and daughter. But she thinks I shouldn't swear here, because that's my business and there is a rule that you don't swear in business, isn't there?
(Erm Gordon Ramsey anyone?)
But this is where I also have come to realise over the years that in adopting roles, so in my family I became the 'good' one who NEVER
swears and does the 'right' thing, we limit another side to us. We can feel uncomfortable and guilty if we don't behave the way we are expected to behave. I am naturally mischievous, ask any of my friends, ask my mum, but I always had in the back of my mind how I thought I should be, depending on other people's idea of who I should be. This can lead to problems if you come up short sometimes. If I'm honest, it can still happen now. So, sorry mum if I have let you down in writing this. Alternatively, I hope you are actually proud that I am able to write it anyway to help other women see that doing what you should do all the time isn't helping you love yourself for who you are.
In the early days of my business I shared this blog and I thought it might be relevant to share this story again if you are feeling heavy under the weight of all your SHOULDS.
(It's 2015) - I've just come off a phone call with my lovely mum, who I love dearly. She'll kill me for writing this, but that's why I am going to share our conversation with you, because I shouldn't!
Now rebellion and rule breaking don't come easily to me. I have battled with the people pleaser saboteur all my life and our conversation will show you why.
Mum: Ooh, did you have to swear on your Facebook page?
Me: Mum, I only said sod. It's hardly bad.
Mum: But should you do that on your business page?
Me: Well, I am 42 and I think the ladies who read my page won't mind the word sod. I could swear my head off, but I don't, because as you know that's not me.
Mum: I know, but it's a business page.
Me: Mum, there are coaches out there like Kat Loterzo and Leonie Dawson who swear like mad and are really successful because women love that they are real and don't hide their true communication style. I love that they are real. I'm not a big swearer, so I don't swear like that, but I do swear when I feel angry or passionate about something, so that's me being real to me. I never swear at or around you out of respect, but I don't think sod is that strong.
Now, bear in mind my mum can swear like a docker, if she's had two shandies, but she doesn't often swear in front of me, in general conversation and we do have a mutual respect.
It's how I've been taught how we 'should' behave and I do like it that way. That mutual respect as mother and daughter. But she thinks I shouldn't swear here, because that's my business and there is a rule that you don't swear in business, isn't there? (Erm Gordon Ramsey anyone?)
But this is where I also have come to realise over the years that in adopting roles, so in my family I became the 'good' one who NEVER swears and does the 'right' thing, we limit another side to us. We can feel uncomfortable and guilty if we don't behave the way we are expected to behave. I am naturally mischievous, ask any of my friends, ask my mum, but I always had in the back of my mind how I thought I should be, depending on other people's idea of who I should be. This can lead to problems if you come up short sometimes. If I'm honest, it can still happen now. So, sorry mum if I have let you down in writing this. Alternatively, I hope you are actually proud that I am able to write it anyway to help other women see that doing what you should do all the time isn't helping you love yourself for who you are.
